You were the one,
I once dreamed
to be with;
the one whom,
my eyes begged for,
and searched
by carrying my teardrops
in faint palms,
from town to town.

You were the only one,
who would captivate
my whole thoughts,
when I would first open
my eyes in the morning.

My heart out of joy,
would unruly dance
in the honour of
your sublime portrait;
I would smile like an idiot
with your innocent smile,
and those funny text messages,
when I would receive
in early mornings.

Now that you are gone,
smile too has frozen;
feeling of loneliness
has completely destroyed me;
only haunting tears stream down
from across my pale face;
even until the next dawn.

Your thoughts deeply haunt,
and your absence made me
too week;
I seek your smile
even in the faces of those
whom I even I don’t know;
and when I realize that
you are no longer with me;
the pain burns from within,
It rushes
like a speed bullet that
cannot be pulled out.

I live in the present
but my mind is on the past,
and sometimes I even forget
my own existence;
feeling to confused
by those innocent words,
once you would caressingly say,
“I feel too comfortable
to share with you.”

I feel completely broken,
being captivated
by so many un-existing fears;
entirely drowned in doubts;
i want to move on,
but I just can’t –
not knowing how to erase
your memories from my mind;
always busy in your thoughts,
not know how to let go.

Please help me
to find ways out
from this ruthless pain;
I want to be free;
i’m completely paralyzed,
not really knowing
how to move on
and find my stolen glee.
By: Abdul Samad Haidari
(20/07/2018 – 09:42 PM).

About samad1986

Abdul Samad Haidari is a poet, writer, teacher and a former freelance journalist, currently residing in Indonesia as a stateless refugee. He is the author of The Red Ribbon He fled his home country at the age of seven and grew up wandering in Pakistan and Iran as a child refugee, and was separated from his family for the majority of his childhood. For two years, at the age of eight and nine, he was forced into child labour in the construction industry in Iran. In contrast, Pakistan offered refugees like him the opportunity to study and work. This education and work experience culminated in Abdul teaching computer studies and English language courses at the Intel Computer Center and Pak Oxford Professionals. After the collapse of the Taliban government, Abdul returned to Afghanistan thinking that the security situation had improved, and that he could take part in the reconstruction of his war-torn country. With this in mind, Abdul served as a freelance journalist and humanitarian aid-worker in areas of the country that remained dangerous to civilians because of the influence of terrorist groups. Abdul served with the Norwegian refugee council (NRC), ActionAid Afghanistan, Daily Outlook Afghanistan group of newspapers, and The Daily Afghanistan Express. As a freelance journalist, Abdul wrote articles and editorials about on-the-ground realities, which were then circulated widely. These had a particular focus on women and children’s rights, corruption, transparency and accountability in government, warlords and terrorist groups’ actions and the systematic persecution of minority groups in both Afghanistan and Pakistan.
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