A bullet shaped mind 


My mind is scorched,
shaped into a bullet form.
The bullet is running
through my head,
diving in my thoughts,
echoing screaming sounds.
I hear the violent groans of
a half-burnt mother,
a handless father,
a son running, collapsing in his blood,
a daughter with half body cut;
half lays there and the other half lays here;
a sister with cloths burnt, naked,
a brother with one shoe on
and the other shoe baked in fire;
children with heads bombed;
flesh hanging across tree branches,
they stuck, hanging like Autumn leaves
across the street walls, and windows.
I feel them through:
my ears,
my mind,
I see them before my eyes.
I am scared of the darkness,
I can’t sleep without the light on.
I try to block myself from all these,
but they break free and get inside.
It’s impossible to escape these all.
After all,
my mouth is sewed shut,
advised to hold to keep quiet,
I keep still, choose the silence
with no word to be uttered –
the only noise you hear is,
how I am suffering,
or how the bullet shot into my head,
how the screams roam across my mind.
@Abdul Samad Haidari

About samad1986

Abdul Samad Haidari is a poet, writer, teacher and a former freelance journalist, currently residing in Indonesia as a stateless refugee. He is the author of The Red Ribbon He fled his home country at the age of seven and grew up wandering in Pakistan and Iran as a child refugee, and was separated from his family for the majority of his childhood. For two years, at the age of eight and nine, he was forced into child labour in the construction industry in Iran. In contrast, Pakistan offered refugees like him the opportunity to study and work. This education and work experience culminated in Abdul teaching computer studies and English language courses at the Intel Computer Center and Pak Oxford Professionals. After the collapse of the Taliban government, Abdul returned to Afghanistan thinking that the security situation had improved, and that he could take part in the reconstruction of his war-torn country. With this in mind, Abdul served as a freelance journalist and humanitarian aid-worker in areas of the country that remained dangerous to civilians because of the influence of terrorist groups. Abdul served with the Norwegian refugee council (NRC), ActionAid Afghanistan, Daily Outlook Afghanistan group of newspapers, and The Daily Afghanistan Express. As a freelance journalist, Abdul wrote articles and editorials about on-the-ground realities, which were then circulated widely. These had a particular focus on women and children’s rights, corruption, transparency and accountability in government, warlords and terrorist groups’ actions and the systematic persecution of minority groups in both Afghanistan and Pakistan.
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