AS THE DAYS STROLL BY

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Another year passed me by
but with no generous grace;
another month passed me by
but only with gushing cries.

Another day passed me by
it too didn’t release me
of this dark and scary place;
neither anyone revealed his heart
to these wet and begging eyes!

Friday too strolled by,
Saturday is nothing
but a troubling blur;
as my heart from
within lonely cries.

Sundays silently wander
with my loneliness and dance
at my enduring worries;
Mondays end with sour tears
and with a heavy feeling
of miseries.

My nights are filled
with unexplainable woes;
and my sweet dreams
are replaced by so many
traumatic pictures of violence
in my troubled head,
that no one knows.

Have you ever like me
wanted to cry out aloud;
but no tears come out
and then you blankly stare
into the empty space
while feeling,
as if your heart breaks
into pieces?
========================
By: Abdul Samad Haidari
(30/04/2018 – 7:45 PM).

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CURSE TO BE THIS UNKIND WAR

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I’m the least fortunate child
of this unkind century;
and the most aggrieved child
of your time.

I’m a war-torn refugee,
the survival of wars,
with a heart that bears
so many cracks.

I’m a war-torn refugee
who carries the pieces of
his shattered memories,
in his torn-back.

I’m the survival of
the wicked forces;
who took away
everything from me,
and caused me so many
unreturnable losses.

My heart is wounded,
and it’s wounded again
and again.

I don’t know why this life
has turned so ruthless
that only wages on me
this much pain.

My heart is deeply wounded
by the affliction of war;
it has hardly shattered
into millions of fragments
and scattered under
their merciless feet.

Perhaps,
I bear so many scars;
some of them can be seen
and some of them
just can’t be seen.

I have no grievances
or complaints now,
for only my silence
has become my solace;
and the solitude has become
my tending grace!
==========================
@Abdul Samad Haidari
(19/04/2018 – 9:25 PM).

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CAN YOU HELP ME BREAK THIS IRON CHAIN?

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I don’t know
why does it seem
too woeful tonight.

The restful silence too
like me seems nostalgic,
and the hushing wind
flutes a sad tune of riot.

Nothing else I can see,
but a terrifying silent
that I grieve with.

A looming darkness
that hangs over this
saddest city lane
that doesn’t drift.

The mighty moon sways
seems pale and aggrieved;
and the admirable stars
don’t shine as usual;
as if to be displeased.

I feel too weak
and entirely drawn
in this doleful pain;
I can’t hold these rivers of tears
that shed again and again.

My scared heart
is anguished;
my whole body is bruised,
torn and languished.

I can feel the scent of
death kneels before
this saddened heart
in pain;
the silence pauses with horror
and the darkness grows wider,
but I can’t escape as you see;
this iron chain!

I have heard that
at your mighty command,
both the darkness and sorrow flee;
for you are the giver of light;
please make me too
from this iron chain free!
================================
By: Abdul Samad Haidari
(05/04/2018 – 9:25 PM).

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I HEARKEN YOUR VOICE SLOWLY FLIES

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I can still hearken
the beginning sound of
your burdened cries.
Through the saddened
gales of the drizzling rain
that with each raindrops;
slowly flies.

I can clearly hearken it
through the sound of
every thunder-strike;
that too loudly roars
out of a sharp pain.
I don’t know
whether it’s
the echoes of
your anguishing heartbeats;
or the unbearable cries of
the mighty skies
that made me bleed
from the tip of
my faint tongue
once again.
========================
@Abdul Samad Haidari
(01/04/2018 – 7:15 PM).

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HOW SHOULD I DARE TO TELL YOU, THESE UNTOLD ENDURING FEARS?

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How should I tell you?
of this anguish tear
that pours in your absence
from these gushing eyes,
my dear.

How should I tell you?
of this dying dream
that from within
this grieving heart,
loudly screams.

How should I tell you?
of this bruising zephyr
when it sighs with me
a last farewell song,
to this bruising winter.

How should I tell you?
of this untimely death
and of this ruthless distance
that targets even
my sad tuned smiles,
in your unsaid absence.

How should I tell you?
of how lonely do I carry on
my childhood’s shattered memories,
and the last fragrance of
my distant mother and siblings
in my torn bag,
and the scattered fragments of
this enduring heart,
with so any cracks.

How should I tell you?
of this dark gloomy cloud
that often makes these weary eyes,
in your memory weep aloud.

How should I tell you?
of my past traumatic memories
of war and bloodshed,
and of the current state of
uncertainty – only hopping to learn
to look at a far …..far.. distant future
with no ending
that only with despair, dismays
and tears feed my troubled head.

How should I tell you?
of the fake smiles of
this unfriendly moon,
fantasizing to be calm,
as if no heart
has ever been broken,
beneath its pretending tune.

How should I tell you?
that only this dark despair –
full of fear and cries;
befriended me here,
to hush the sad tune
of these reigning sighs. =============================
@Abdul Samad Haidari
(01/04/2018 – 8:37 PM,
Indonesia).

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MAY I DARE TO RESIDE IN A CORNER OF YOUR HEART, WHERE THEY CANNOT SEE ME?

===============================
I still sense
your fervid fragrance
in that blue T-shirt,
every time I wear.

They say,
your aura is wrapped,
and carried by the early
morning’s zephyr,
all the way through
the sea air.

I feel your presence
in this recalling air
with every single
breathe I take.

I feel your soft
and warm palms,
caressingly wrapping
my frozen hands
that shake only
for your sake.

I can receive
your every single
heartbeat
when you put
your head
on my chest…

I hear your heartbeats
are whispering words
that have not been
spoken before.

I wish,
and I really wish,
I could see
your fortifying mien
in this afternoon’s
moon’s golden shade
once more…….
=========================
@Abdul Samad Haidari
18/03/2018

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THESE UNFAMILIAR FEELINGS OF SOLITUDE

================================
All these endless hours of nostalgia
and all these devastating

hours of solitude.

All these sleepless nights
and all these restless moments
have all now chosen me
as their faithful companion.

Of their unkind friendships,
I often choose to walk alone.

Alone with the dark shadows
of the troubling nights
in these lonely streets.

I feel lost,
lost in these unfamiliar streets,
not knowing which direction
should I take that leads
to a safe destination.

All I see are,
the burying lamps,
desperately hanging across
these narrow streets
where all the paths
seem blurred.
=======================
Abdul Samad Haidari
03/13/2018

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DREAMING FOR THE SUMMER THAT SLOWLY DIES

And now,
I have fallen in love
with sharp pains
and with the
gloomy shadow of
the unkind nights.

Waiting in an unknown shore,
begging for the mighty wind
to sail my broken boat
to a safe desert
or let it sink
in the heart of a troubling sea
where no one could find me,
no matter how hardly
do I plea.

Abdul Samad Haidari
07/March/2018

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LET US BE HUMAN ENOUGH

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=====================

This one goes out to those so-called good humans who claim are humans enough – and who claim can understand enough.

tell me you, “the ones”
with no human conscience
how peacefully do you sleep
while millions of others
can’t sleep
because of starvation?

I hear the cheerful
tosses of your glasses
every night and smell
the the amount of food
you waste.

I still wonder,
are you humans enough
to genuinely percieve
how it really feels
to become one of them?
have you ever thought
about it?

Are you blind?
can’t you see them?
why do you keep closed
your human eyes?
If you are one?

How do you turn your face away
when you see them sleeping
with empty stomach
and pour unsired tears –
at the very same time
when you are wasting your food
and tossing glasses of beers?

I wonder,
are you humans enough,
collecting in the name of poors
and loading in your bank accounts
and then acting as if
you are their boss?

Are you still acting
to be the boss??

I still wonder,
what makes you
so confident to make
a false proclamation
for this divine status
“Humankind”??

I still have one more wonder,
how good are you
at deceiving people
with your empty promises?

The empty promises
to your human fellows
who with hope come to you
and seek your assistance
in the name of your own race
“humankind”
but you relieve them
with your ruthless lies
or unkind words of tries?

Tell me,
tell me,
where have you lost
your human conscience,
having no human values
nor human hearts,
neither human eyes?

Tell me,
how many days do you offer
in your Masjids?
or how many days in a week,
do you go to your Churches?

Tell me,
what do you promise there
with your Gods?

Tell me,
how do you feel
after you break
them one by one?

Now, it’s you
who should wonder
when you close your eyes
and carefully contemplate
what I daily wonder.

I am sure,
those of you
who are genuinely humans enough
shall feel good,
but those of you
who are not humans enough
will surely feel cursed.

Remember;
Only those with human conscience
can have these feelings,
not everyone.

Abdul Samad Haidari
18/02/2018

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OF THEIR IGNORANCE

===================
Allow me to lift your veil
and circumambulate you
for I have sailed for you
many desperate miles
with mortal whims.

Allow me to lift your veil
and get lost in the stream
of your fairy eyes
of golden rims.

Allow me to lift your veil
and prove my talent too
in drawing the moon of your
wondrous countenance.

And then, I will hold
your portrait with me
and leave it above the sky
to prove their ignorance.
====================
Abdul Samad Haidari
30/01/2018

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